okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
