just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
