I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
