It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
