Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
