It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
