when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
