Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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