yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
