What a fucking waste of an outfit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
