He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize