Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
