Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
