You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
