I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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