Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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