Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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