My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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