We're like a lot better than the average bears
...so i touched it.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
