Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize