Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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