Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I will pee on everything he values.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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