Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ttyl tear gas
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your penis caused this!
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