I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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