Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sry I called you an 8

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(817): View more from Texas

you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.

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(614): View more from Ohio

just got booed by the entire restaurant.

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(509): View more from Washington

Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick

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(206): View more from Washington

She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table

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(870): View more from Arkansas

If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.

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