Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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