Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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