So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
