Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
