How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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