If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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