she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
