ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
