If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
