By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
