I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
