i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
