i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize