I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize