I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
