I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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