i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
