I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
