could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
