You work out of a Hotel?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
