i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
