Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I love black thongs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
