North Korea, Best Korea!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
