i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
