So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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