I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
