oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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