thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
