I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
