He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
