I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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