Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When did angry sex become our thing?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
