she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
