This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
