Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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