The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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