I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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